her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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