i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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