And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
