Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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