Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
