No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
