GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
nutella sex= disaster
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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