the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
