She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
