May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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