I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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