forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
