I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
