they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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