For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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