Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize