like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
