he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
