TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
