i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ttyl tear gas
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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