another moral hangover. fuck.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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