remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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