Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My vagina is officially offended.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
