My underwear smells like fireworks.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You ruined the universe
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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