my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
