so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
