Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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