i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize