So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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