Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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