the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
