No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
