if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
