I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
