well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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