...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
