I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Do vagina's smell?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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