She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the day after is always just damage control
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
