I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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