I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize