i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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