That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
