Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
