Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize