Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
