It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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