Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
