Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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