As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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