I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
