she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
