when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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