Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
