I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize