Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't deserve a penis
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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