Sober January is a disaster.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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