that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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