I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize