She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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