is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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