i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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