Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
