she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
