I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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