Whod you bang
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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