i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
