Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
