That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
