dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
