Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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