so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
