mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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