Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
