Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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