i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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