her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
