idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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