It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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