dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
