i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So much rum. So many feels.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We're too hungover to prance.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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