nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
