All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize