dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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