A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
