This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
