butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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