no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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